Contrasting Classroom Chaos
Twelve years at DAV Public School, Burla, Sambalpur and then just two years at Delhi Public School, Vasant Kunj, New Delhi were enough for me to decipher the contrasting classroom scenarios that prevail at the two places. Instead of explaining things, I guess it would be much better if you have a look at some of these contrasts:
NOTE: The sole intention of this is humour and fun alone. None of the expressions mentioned below are meant to hurt anyone from either Delhi or Sambalpur or anywhere! Just Enjoy it guys...:)
"Don't you know that you should stand up when you are answering? Is this something that I need to tell you?" "Did I ask you to sit down? Apne aap hi baith gaye?" "No dear, there is no need to stand. You can seat and answer" "Sit down dear. There is no need to wait for my permission"
Students (about assembly):
Sambalpur (SBP)- "Yaar rozz subah assembly mein prayer karna padta hai"
Delhi (DEL)- "Yahaan assembly hi rarely hoti hai!"
Students (again about assembly)
SBP: "Aaj hum assembly attend nahi kar paye kyunki humara extra class tha"
DEL: "Aaj assembly hai? Wow! Mast hai, pehle ke 2-3 period toh barbad honge! Badhiya hai"
Dialogue in conversation amongst two friends
SBP- "Oh no, recess ke baad ka bell bajne ka already 10 minutes ho chuka hai. Ab pakka punishment milega. Chal jaldi class mein."
DEL- "Shit yaar, break khattam hone ka already 10 minutes ho chuka hai. Chhod class me jaate hi nahi hain abhi. Next period me jayenge. Teacher ko pata bhi nahi chalega"
Teacher (on seeing around 25% of the class strength absent)
"What is this? Why are so many absent today?"
"Wow! Is there something special today? You have some practical? How come so many of you are present today?"
Students (before the class of a boring teacher):
DEL- "Yaar ye teacher bahut bore karti hai. Main toh PE field ja raha hun. Agar wo puche toh bol dena ki main absent hun"
SBP- "Abhi ek aur period apne aap ko control karna padega from falling asleep!"
Teacher asks a question and a student answers. Teachers reaction:
(Student doesn't stand to answer)
(Student answers incorrectly and sits down before the teacher asks him to)
(Student stands up to answer)
(If student is standing after answering awaiting the teachers permission to sit down)
Student (about bunking)
DEL- "I am going to the internet lab. Chemistry period bahut boring hota hai"
SBP- "Bunk karega? Paagal hai kya? Kisiko pata chal gaya toh?"
Student (after remaining absent from class for a day):
SBP- "Yaar kal kya padhaya gaya tha?"
DEL- "Ek din hi toh absent tha, kya phark padta hai? Aaj bhi nahi aata toh achcha hota. Medical ceritificate toh paise de kar banaa hi sakta hun na!"
Teacher (on seeing some student who was absent the previous day)
SBP- "Why were you absent yesterday dear?"
DEL- Teacher doesn't notice!
Student (about homework):
"Mera homework complete nahi hua, aaj phir daant padegi class mein!"
"Homework? We haven't done that since ages!"
Teacher (about homework):
SBP- "Atleast the students will study something, thanks to the homework we give them everyday"
DEL- "We prefer not to give any homework. 2 reasons: One, the students are never going to complete that! Two, the immense workload they get at their coaching centers is enough. We shouldn't increase that! We know they can do well without homework from school. homework would just increase their burden!"
Students (if caught doing something wrong):
SBP- "Aaj toh gaye! Pakka punishment milegi. And agar ghar pe pata chal gaya toh?"
DEL- "Fuck man! Again a long round of lectures! Teachers and then parents! Whatever! Who cares? Just get all this done soon!"
And yes, this one's the best:
Boys (on seeing some very good looking lady teacher)
DEL- "Mast hai yaar. Ise toh modeling karni chahiye. Yahaan kya kar rahi hai? And agar teacher hi hai, toh ye kaunse lucky class ko padhati hai??"
SBP- Ye sab buri baatein hain. hum nahi sochte...!
Well, I must say one thing here. When I joined DPS, I found these things really weird. From a completely disciplined school environment to a carefree environment, the change was un-ignorable (I don't know if that word exists)! Some things were welcome but many things surely took me time to adjust. But at the end, I was sure about one thing: the way masti is defined at the two places is seriously contrasting!
I don't think we can say that what happens in Delhi is not correct or that students in Sambalpur are the very goody-goody ones. These are the changing trends! And somewhere I do feel that in about another 10 years or even less than that, the present Delhi environment would prevail in Sambalpur as well and nobody would notice the fact that there has been so much change already! And then, we don't know where would Delhi have already reached by then!
I hope you had a nice time reading this guys. Do let me know what you feel about this contrast. Is what happens at SBP or DEL, similar to what happens in your place? Or there is a third version as well?? Do share your ideas and let me know. ;)