Sunday, April 28, 2013

Damn this Code F2 Fever!


Truly, this is a fever. A serious fever. A fever without any possibility of complete cure. A fever that is probably not medically known but has deeply affected me. A fever which has changed the way I think. A fever that till a few days back, I was proud to have, and now I just want to run away from. This is the Code F2 Fever!

Photoshop is fun if you know how to use it. Else, simple editing like this one can take 40 minutes and give you a real fever!
I wake up late. I brush and get ready and feel like doing nothing. My stomach demands food and I forcibly have some. I sit in front of my laptop, switch on the internet, open facebook to check the notifications, keep refreshing various pages, close the internet thinking that I should be doing something more useful, stare around and find nothing, switch the internet back on, spend hours wishing for time to fly.

I just don’t want to work or do anything that anybody would term as ‘work’. Over the last few years, I have done enough of that, I believe. Now I want time for myself. Time to enjoy. I suddenly don’t like sitting at home. I want to go out all the time, hang out with friends, watch all films that released last Friday, have some good food, gain some muscles (or fats?), meet people, have fun and relax.

A few days back I was asked, ‘What is the craziest thing you have done in life?’ I had no answer. And I hated that I had no answer. How boring of me not having done anything ‘crazy’? Work, work and work- that’s all I have done. I have no problem in being termed a ‘workaholic’ because the work I do is always work that I love to do. But I do want to do things that are crazy and I want to enjoy, without any worry for anything else! In fact, just a day after this question was raised, at 2.30 AM, two of my good college mates arrived at my place with a plan of going to Brindavan immediately by car and coming back after attending the morning aarti. All three of us were broke and still we ventured out on the trip. As luck would have it, with 60 kilometres left for our destination, the highway was blocked by some kind of a serious traffic jam and we had to take a detour that almost made us reach Bharatpur Sanctuary and was almost 3 hours of extra driving. We returned via the Yamuna Expressway and reached Delhi by 1.30 PM. Yeah, this was a crazy experience, one that we didn’t expect would take place the way it did. And I loved it.

These are the kind of crazy experiences I look forward to all the time now. A part of me believes that I am too overworked and each new ‘work’ now is a mental challenge; extra load of work coming now might just bring about the breakdown point. This is what many people around me have been warning me against since past many weeks. But then, there is this other part of me which is ever-ready to take up more work, new challenges, new missions! Probably this other part is what is in control most of the time. Probably this other part is the reason of me not being free with just two weeks of undergrad-college left.

There are so many more unusual things that I have been doing since the past few days. Consider the situation right now- It is past midnight and I am typing this blog entry as I sip a full mug of black coffee and not Horlicks! What’s wrong with me? And anyways, this being my first attempt at making Nescafe coffee, I seem to have followed the instructions on the pack too seriously. And so, instead of putting 1 teaspoon coffee to 1 cup of warm water, I added 1 tablespoon coffee to 1 mug of sweetened boiling water. This tastes bitter! (Adding two spoons of milk powder hasn’t helped! [O.o])

Since the last few days, I am avoiding all kinds of food in my locality and instead am finding reasons to visit Select Citywalk or CP or PVR Saket (I watched Nautanki Saala, surely not worthy of being more than a one-time-watch, twice in two days) or any of the many hangout places around me simply to have loads of junk food. Junk, but at least variety and tasty. Considering the amount of weight I have lost in the past few months while I was working and seeing that so many people have noticed this and asked me ‘What’s wrong with your health and food habits?’ I just want to have as much food as I can have and gain some weight. This is important for another grave reason as well- If I get selected for interview at any of the colleges that I have applied for a Masters course, nobody would believe that the one sitting in front of them is the same one whose photo is attached in the application form. Why? Because I have submitted my Class 12 Passport Photograph, everywhere, in which I had a complete chubby face entirely unlikely how I look right now!

Consider this last situation for now- it’s just two weeks of college left in which
#1. I need to do the entire post-production work of my film and submit it as my final project (a 12-credit paper and 3 times more important than my other subjects),
#2. Wind up the work that I started on 29th of November 2012,
#3. Study 23 subjects (of all the 6 semesters of my course) for a comprehensive viva,
#4. Work on my portfolio so that I have something to show if I am called for an interview,
#5. Study something at least for all the many entrance exams that I have applied for,
And all of it is to happen within the next 15 days. It is a mission to be accomplished. Possible, is it? A part of me doesn’t care, doesn’t want to do any of it. But the other part of me accepts the challenge; this is the last mission to complete while still in college. Let’s do it!

My friend tells me that I am easily exploited by people. Simply because I find it difficult to say No, people tend to think that I can do anything they ask me to and I have no limitation mentally or physically. I am the ‘good & sincere student’ who listens to everything he is told. Well, I am a ‘superhuman’ with no limits and all the time in the world to work because I am not interested in wasting time and because I am a good boy, isn’t it?

Damn this Code F2 Fever!

No, Google or Robert Langdon can’t help you with decoding this code, because it’s too simple. This fever is now part of me and I can’t help it but be happy about it. Only if people could understand its importance, I would be truly enjoying some time at college as a carefree student. But I guess, in my case, that’s not possible, because the other part of me wouldn’t ever accept it.

Hats off to you if you read this entire 1300 word plus self-blabbered-piece-of-writing. Probably you know what Code F2 means and how importantly important it has been for me over the past 5 months. Or probably you read this in the expectation of finding something interesting and are disappointed right now. Whatever the case may be do feel free to leave a comment and let me know how big this disappointment is, so that I can think of something better the next time. And hopefully by then, I would be off this Code F2 Fever.

P.S.: I am tempted to add this P.S. because a part of me thinks that I am proud to have this Code F2 fever and wouldn’t want to let go of it anytime soon. Hahaha…!

7 comments :

  1. Really loved the Entry... Maybe probably I very closely relate myself to all that I read now...

    Same situation with me all over... But, am just madly loving everything atleast till this moment...

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  2. Haha!! the photo is hilarious with expressions being epic :P Get well soon! Great post :)

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  3. Sometimes it's okay to have the part which doesn't care. I realize both of us suffering from something quite similar. Lets hope for the best and get well soon. All the best :-)

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  4. Slow and steady wins the race. It is an old proverb but holds good at every time. When you race too hard you get exhausted and feel like what you do now. Calm down and things will take their own shape in time.

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