Wednesday, May 07, 2014

5 types of friends we have after college ends

Of course there is a reason why I am writing this entry. It’s not even been one full year since my (grad) college ended, and there already is such a huge distance between my friends (The dooriyan badh gayi hain types). We already seem to be losing touch and hell yeah, that worries me! What got me thinking about this post was a WhatsApp message I sent a couple of nights back on a college friends’ group chat: ‘Because I won’t be in town for a long time after the coming weekend, so please let’s meet up’. Yes, the word ‘please’. We don’t usually need to use that with our good friends, do we?
 
Yes, the word ‘please’. We don’t usually need to use that with our good friends, do we?
The best thing I do when I have some worries in my head is to write them down, and so here it goes- this is an entry which I am expecting would be both cathartic and fun for you. And probably, it would remind some of my friends of certain aspects of life, because let me be frank- these characters are indeed based on some or the other characteristics (and once in a while, modified characteristics to suit the context better) of some of my very dear friends! Of course, offence intended! [;)]

Surely these are not exclusive categories. I have many friends who I wouldn’t categorise into any of these because the relation we share is probably very different. They are the ones, probably from school (or even from college), with whom we talk after many many months but still the talk happens as if no time has passed since the previous conversation. This post is clearly not about them.


This one is about 5 types of friends we have, less than a year after college:

Type 1: The ‘I am too busy’ friend

In a metro city like Delhi where you travel to work for over 20 kms everyday, at the end of it, you are so exhausted that you simply want to go back home and even the less than 10 km distance to meet your friend (with whom you used to spend almost each and every day just a few months ago) seems a very difficult task and one which you can put off till next weekend, or may be the one after that. If the friend is working as well, then bingo! Perfect combo. Corporate world- it’s a mutual understanding- I don’t’ care when I meet you next, you don’t care when you meet me next.

But if it’s just one who is ‘busy’, then probably the once in a month WhatsApp conversation would start with-

You: ‘Well, we are in the same city, separated by a few kilometers, when did we last meet?’

Reply 1: ‘Beta, tu kaam karega to tujhe samajh aayega! Lagi padi hai meri!’ (You will understand the pressure only once you start working)

Reply 2: ‘Yaar, I am trying. Just not able to get any time off. Too much work.’

You (Because that’s all you can say): ‘Hmmm…Ok…’

Type 2: The ‘bataa kab milna hai’ friend

The exact opposite of the busy friend. They are the ones due to whom you can still call yourself ‘social’. They may not be the most emotionally connected to you, but yeah, anytime you shoot a text planning a meet, they are there and ready with ‘Bataa kab milna hai?’ And they do end up meeting you and sharing some much-required light moments.

And believe it or not, they are working too and they hate their long-schedules too! But they do take time out for these moments once in a while (may be after a couple of delayed plans) probably because they too want to stay connected!

Type 3: The ‘excused’ friend

There is a different species of friends- The utterly-butterly excusy ones. The ones who would agree to all kinds of get-together plans, show the highest level of enthusiasm, but would never turn up because something beyond-control happened at the last minute or the boss called in on a Sunday because a colleague took an off. Ok, so you are in the media industry and rarely have Sundays off, but come on, had the ‘get-together’ been on your agenda you would have actually made an attempt to be there. And by the way, is it your boss or girl friend calling?

Type 4: The ‘PR’ friend

Somebody or the other is surely a PR friend for you. No personal contact, but surely a ‘like’ on your facebook status. I should stay in touch with him/her, he/she is doing a good work, might come useful in the future. Nothing more on it, we all do it and you get it! ;)

Type 5: The ‘I too am vella’ friend

Ok, that would make it too offensive. Because they are the ones who you are constantly in touch with (if some kind of a conversation once or twice a week is ‘staying in touch’) and probably even meet every couple of weeks. Either they are enrolled in a Masters course like you or are waiting to get into ‘a new job’ or probably are simply ‘taking a break’. They are the ones who you are most updated about and who know almost all recent updates from you. They are the ones who you can rely on because they would be there without a question whenever you want to meet them. I should probably call them the ‘I am there for you’ friend, right?


The biggest reason for me to write this post in the first place was the unacceptably busy schedules of my friends who have started their jobs in the last one year. (It is evident in the post, isn’t it?) In fact it was something on these lines which led me to a sleepless night yesterday. I wasn’t worried about how my semester exam today was going to be; instead I was formulating reasons- why I would never like to take up a job? And this coming even before I have entered the corporate world is surely not something ‘normal’ and would call for big advices from elders. If taking up a job means giving up one’s social life, not able to take time out to meet your best friends for months because work keeps you too busy, and even after all that complaining you don’t like your work at the first place and are doing a job because ‘you have to’- sorry, I am not ready to take up a job…EVER! Easy to say, is it? May be I shall put up a different post sometime with more on this. I surely have a lot to say about it! For now, let me rest the case.

I am not sure with how many of the above friend types you can familiarize yourself with. I am not even sure how many of my friends (from all the 5 categories) would consider it important to open the link to this post and read it. And in case they do, they might just call me up and start abusing me in the friendliest manner. I don’t know. At least that would mean they took a few minutes out of their ‘busy’ schedule to read the post and would probably ‘call’ or ‘drop a text’. No offence intended to anyone, but yeah, to some- I do mean offence and surely they get it! Haha…

In case you are reading this at a time when college is getting over for you, don't be scared. You won't lose your friends. It's just a little extra effort that goes in to keep connected with friends. Don't ever stop making that effort. Ever. Full stop.

Well, as for me, I have always been the never-let-go types. One who would bug you, irritate you and wouldn't let you work in peace- most of my friends would agree. And probably that's why this attempt at writing this entry.


PS: I hope you have seen the ‘Look Up’ social-media video that has recently gone viral. Watch it here if you haven’t yet!

12 comments :

  1. Hey lil' bug !! It was a great entry, reminded me to text few of my friends whom i missed out for the past few months :p
    Well categorized the kinds of friends, loved it !
    May be we can try sub-categorizing them as ' i wanna get rid of you friend ' , ' help me out , but dont expect me to help' :P
    Whatsay?
    Anyway , good read !!

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    1. Thanks Mr/Ms Unknown :)
      Those sub-categorising may work as well if we keep on deliberating and expanding on the context ;)
      In fact I would really like to give a name to you rather than say- the unknown friend. Whatsay?

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    2. And I look forward to read the other blog that is coming up.. And probably comment on that too.. Cuz ur topics do intrigue me .. :D and a reader is nothing without a writer .. So thank you for coming up with this... ;)

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    3. Unknown friend sounds so more like a ' bug-friend ' ...... don't worry, this bug would like to buzz as unknown :p

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    4. Hahaha...now for the first time 'Unknown' gave a response to me calling them unknown. Good!
      Keep buzzing me, and have all the fun of being anonymous. And till then, let me try to use my mind palace for deciphering your identity! ;)

      Delete
  2. Leaving out on a job opportunity? Well how about taking up a job in the same vicinity in order to stay in touch? Not bad an idea though ... ;) Give it a thought.... :D

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    Replies
    1. Yeah sure. But as I mentioned 'I surely have a lot to say about it!' I might as well save the reply to your comment for the blog post that I hope comes up ;)
      Thanks for the read Sanjna!

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    2. Intriguing? Nice! Will look forward to seeing you hear more often. I like readers who come back for new posts everytime! :)

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  3. Naukri is done by naukars. And naukars do not have independence. So they cannot move as per their sweet will. But that does not make them unsocial. The biggest mistake most naukars commit is that they fail(or rather never try) to balance their work and social lives. In corporate world the jargon "work life balance" is a major issue today for discussion in seminars/conferences. This work life imbalance is resulting in employee stress which is worrying the corporate world. But the solution lies in the individuals not in the corporates or seminars. As a rational human being one has to be assertive enough to keep one's work life and social/personal life separate. That's the most important lesson one must learn to enjoy both work and personal life. After all how can anyone allow his work life to ride over his personal life? I still do not understand this but I know it is difficult to rise in the corporate ladder if you do not allow your work life to have the upper hand. No wonder people sacrifice their personal life. As time passes and age catches up you realise you have not enjoyed your life at all but you are left with very little time to make amendments. It is not possible to go back in time. So enjoy every bit of your present time without being a very aspiring employee. After all a job is only a livelihood, not the be all and end all of life. I hope your friends will soon realise this.

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    Replies
    1. Yes and No, I don't know what to say. Your comments are always so 'no-reply-possible' types Papa! :P

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  4. Hahaha, it was a nice read written by you after a long time. And well, I must say that I'm glad you are the 'Never let go' types, and I shall say nothing more! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Well, you know me :)
      But, 'after a long time', seriously? :P

      Delete

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