Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Last Day: The pie stands consumed

9th May, 1:50 AM (Pre-Farewell Party)


Hey guys

Seriously what the hell am I doing? You guys say you read my blog. Some of you probably do. But still, you are not reading this, without me poking the link to you, are you?

Haah.. Gotcha!

Haha.. Okay so that's not me. You know that well. (I don't know how and when I decided to let that happen)

Two years ago when my graduation ended, I wrote a letter to all my friends at MBICEM- it was something I had wanted to do. It contained things I wanted to share with people but had never been able to, I wanted to clear a lot of misconceptions about me through it. And I knew one thing for sure when I joined MCRC- a letter like that would never be written by me again for the friends I make here. You know why? Because I never intended to have any kind of strong bonds with you. I just didn't want to have any connection. None of any kind. Spend 9.30 to 5 in college and then leave the place, the people, the work and go back to the people and things I enjoyed doing. I just hated this place. I hated each and every little thing about here. And it was not because of anything, but an unwise choice made by me. I was stuck.
 
26-05-2015- Last Day
I distinctly remember the last working day of our first semester. End of November 2013. I got out of the lab and the sky was already darkening. The corridors were completely empty. For the first time an unusual and unexpected thought struck me- three semesters later, I am going to miss seeing this view every evening.


It was surprising. One part of me was so happy that I had been able to endure and live  through a whole semester of ‘200 drawings per week’, and was counting down the amount of time still left here, another had this weird thought.

Probably it was sometime over the next few weeks that I decided I won't let myself regret these two years later in life. After ‘That birthday party’ in the first week of March, I thought I had been in my shell too long. And probably it was then that I started slowly talking, mixing, opening up. Because I had loved that evening, the company, the interaction, the fun.

You have seen me storm out of the drawing class in anger, and you have heard me crib about the 'wrong course' for far too long. Watching the Mass Comm seniors using the crane and steadicam and those entire shoot setups, the only thought in my mind used to be 'What the hell am I doing sitting in front of the stupid computer all day long!' I absolutely lost interest from this thing that I had wanted to learn for so many years and due to which I had chosen to get into this course. Yes, it had been my choice and a very wilful one. I never blamed the course, I always blamed my choice.

But with all of it said and done, I had one thing clear in mind after returning from Mumbai- In a year when I leave this college, I would do so proudly- I would have made the best use of my time here. In terms of work, in terms of connecting with people, in terms of understanding my own value. I now wanted to start seeing things positively. Extract the best out of any situation and leave the rest. Take the positives out, ignore the negatives. And I think that is what has made this last year sail quickly and smoothly. And I think that is exactly how almost all challenges in life are.
 
07-09-2013 The green room gesture drawing classes

08-11-2013 Cakes, Paints and Looks

Liquor or sleeping Omar?

17-02-2014 Lalit Kala Animation Workshop

10th May, 12:10 AM (Farewell night)


There was this one moment, during the farewell. The time when Sani created those red disco lights. I just went and sat down, watching everyone dance. Something happened then, for that moment, a big realisation struck me- this is it. This is the end. Last day of college in this life. And I unexpectedly felt that tinge- I am going to miss this place, you people and the crazy times we have spent here.

The final project stopped worrying me. Work has a way of happening before deadline. It always does, automatically. The future is uncertain, most of our careers are uncertain. But I guess that's a worry better kept at bay until we can do something about it.

19th May, 12:30 AM (Last Theory exam night)


There is something about human nature that makes us adapt to our situations soon. We get used to the way things are, for good or bad, whether we like it or we don't. And soon enough even after all the cribbing, I got used to this place, that corner classroom, the seat at the end of the second row, the three times a day ritualistic canteen trips, the most-nonsense whatsapp talks, the absolutely unnecessary comments about people, the 'we can never be serious' attitude, the last minute submissions, and every little thing. I got used to you guys.

I got used to our talks, chats, comments. I accepted you as my present, the people standing by me right now, the only ones who would be with me, support me, until we are here, until this course ends, until we move again in separate directions. Life became easy. Going to college was no longer a painstaking task. I was accepting things the way they were. I was getting involved. I was making friends now. And I think that has made all the difference.

I am wondering if I should put this post up on the blog right now, but then, there still are a few ‘last days’ left. Will put it up a night before the final viva.
 
08-02-2014: The 12-December-ites at Comic Con

07-06-2014 Chooooski at Juhu. Malai, Cola and Orange.

23-08-2014 That dreadful Garib Rath journey back to Delhi. Lights off kar do!!

01-04-2015 Yes, I am looking for the weirdest pictures

26th May, 10:30 PM (Now)


I know I had to put this up yesterday night, but things messed up unexpectedly and thus the delay.

So it has finally ended. It’s actually weird right now. We wanted it to end for so long, but now that it has, it doesn’t feel good. We got too used to each other. Too used to not being in a silent classroom. Too used to coming late to the class and then not leaving before we were literally forced to leave the lab.

Probably we do not yet understand the big change that is going to happen from tomorrow. Probably while sitting in the bus home, or the train/flight to our new destination, or while lying in bed and not keeping the alarm on for the next morning- that is when it will strike. College is over. Forever. And the life ahead- that’s mostly uncertain. Probably scary.

Everything has to come to an end. A positive one. And so has our two years time in the Animation Lab.

For you guys- the ones I met here and became friends with and who gave me the unconditional support and respect, thank you. For the superbly cooperative and understanding faculty, Sir and Maam, thank you (Where else would I have been allowed to make a documentary film in an animation course and got all kinds of support from the faculty even when they knew that I didn’t want to pursue a career in this field?) Thank you for letting me be me.

Life in Delhi has been great. Life at MCRC has been surprisingly fun. For all those amazing times, thank you again.

10-04-2015 The day we finally realised our abilities, Drawing Room 2015

26-02-2015 Winter was gone. But then the hoodies arrived. And it rained and rained and got another month of cool
The one thing that none of us is going to forget from sem 1

It’s going to take a few days for the realisation to sink in, but yeah, it is going to happen- I am going to miss you guys.

Shedding tears at farewells isn’t a sign of weakness. It is a clear sign of the strength of the bond shared. But it’s always better to leave with a smile on the face, express those emotions with a glint in the eye. And that is what I shall do. Bola tha rulaunga, lekin abhi nahi. Blogs likh kar aur forcibly padhwa kar rulaunga.

The entire pie stands consumed. The Last Day is over. This is goodbye.

Stay in touch and take care.


-Antarik

And of course we are jinxed. 20 people. Not even one complete group photo in two years. :P

7 comments :

  1. will surely miss that birthday cake which was shared by three decemberites :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now you and Tarab, look for another 12-Decemberite 'together' in Bangalore :D

      Delete
  2. Antarik. You lived up to your promise on Instagram you bastard !!!!
    Got soo teary eyed towards the end.....had to read the 26th May bit twice !!!

    P.S.I havent slept in the past two days. I dont think I can sleep easily today as well. !!!
    Thanks a lot !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did?? Yes yes yes! Hahaha..
      Sorry Omar. Have a good sleep, don't worry 😜

      Delete
  3. And now I am cutting invisible onions :'(
    Will miss you all a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sunn Dev, try closing your nose while cutting, it helps. Sorry :P
      Ghar pe sab thik?

      Delete
    2. hahhaa thanks... han sab badhiyaa.. aur ab rona band ho chuka hai. :P

      Delete

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