Monday, October 24, 2011

On a quest to Discover the Confused Me


“I have been extremely busy with my work and that is why I have been unable to talk to you.”- Isn’t this the lamest excuse you would give to your best friends when you call them up after almost a month of no-talking, calls not answered by you and messages not replied by you, and you still expect that they would understand? Well, I wouldn’t take that! But I am really glad that I have a set of friends who actually ‘do’ understand that. Probably I knew that they would understand this when I pressed the ‘Silence’ button on my cell phone when they called.

If I put myself in their shoes, well, no, I wouldn’t take that excuse. That is lame. How can you not take time out for people who have mattered to you so much and you know that they still do? Well, I guess if I react that ways, they would be left helpless and regretting, because, probably they actually were ‘busy’.

My internals ended on September 23rd and then started a four-week long unpredicted schedule of never-ending work. Well, they did end, but then, four-weeks are not something small! These four weeks have been really wonderful and experience-full if I see it in the professional point of view- I have learnt a lot in this time frame alone. Along with my group of friends, I have made a complete newspaper from scratch. I held the movie-camera for the first time in a real movie-shoot, something which I had been dreaming for at least 5 years now and which was my primary reason for taking up mass communication at the undergraduate level. I made a radio travel feature after recording in a real studio at college. And yes, not to forget, I have attended all classes over these days.

For the ear, these things seem very pleasant and believe me, when you are actually doing so much work which you love, you start feeling professional and professionalism slowly takes over you. Aren’t professional people supposed to be busy? Well, I guess, if they do, then its time that they learn to maintain an equal amount of dedication towards their personal lives as well.

These four weeks have been really bad for me when I see it in the personal life context- I have given my work super-more importance than my friends and family. In the race to be the best, I forgot to keep track of the very people who brought me here, and preferred to concentrate on doing my work and work alone. Well, I guess, I didn’t have any other option also. I had to work!

Somehow this four-week period has brought in much more professional thinking in me than I desired or thought of. I don’t know if it is doing me good or not, but yes, at least now I know what to do and what not to and how to balance this professional vs personal spheres.

You are walking down the road less taken. You meet many people on your way who have taken the same road. You overtake them effortlessly and without your knowledge. The King Lion gets to know about you. He sees you as a tiger amongst leopards. He instructs his ministers, the elephants, to keep a close eye on you. To help you on your path at all times. In the process, you are given the best works, the big responsibilities. The King gets to know you better, and you become his favourite. Slowly you take up more and more work. You love to do them. You love to serve the king. You keep yourself busy. One day suddenly you realize, amidst all the work, it wasn’t just your ability that was improving; it was also the elephants’ work that was decreasing. You were already doing work which you needn’t have done at all. The elephants are happy that their work is getting done without any efforts by them. You fail to understand that. And when you realize that you regret that!

(‘What am I writing?’- That’s the exact thought that just crossed my mind. I seriously don’t know why I am writing all this! And how mad are you that you are still going on reading all this crap! This isn’t the story of Simba-The Lion King! :P)

I guess I know what all this is. The confusion and frustration that I have been through over the past few days, has come out in a confused format from my frustrated mind. And if you are not confused even now, then I guess it’s wrong when we say If you can’t convince them, confuse them!

I wonder why my blog-writing has deteriorated so much! I seriously believe that this entry comes in just because I saw the last entry on this blog was 16 full days ago and I desperately felt like updating it! (I know that’s real lame! But I am surprised, you read this till the end!)

P.S.: Tell me, was this actually a quest to discover the confused me? Or you got confused in the process?  :D
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Saturday, October 08, 2011

UB 27 B5 12426 Jammu Tawi - New Delhi Rajdhani Express


Writing this entry has no particular aim. Probably I am writing this because there has been so much happening in these two days of my Vaishno Devi trip or probably because amidst so many assignments, I haven’t found time to pen down a few words on my blog since days, or probably it is the tension of my broadsheet (say ‘newspaper’) getting completed on time successfully and with the best quality that is keeping me awake right now.

The past two weeks have been extremely tiring. Yes, I won’t deny that. But somehow I feel I have been able to balance my time well (I seriously wonder why I am saying that!) One thing that has happened for sure is that now I am learning to work qualitatively without taking much tension or I should say I am learning to cope with mental pressure. Whatever it is, it is doing good to me (or so I feel).

A 19 year old boy got lost at midnight somewhere in the 12.5 kilometre path on his way back from the shrine of Vaishno Devi. He got separated from his parents and sister and for an hour and a half each party was deeply scared and looking for the other one. The severe pain in the muscles of each one was completely forgotten. The absence of prepaid mobile networks and public address system in the vicinity fuelled the anxiety. All of them now know how the almighty had shown his power and separated and reunited them, with none of them having any idea why and how what was happening. Yes, the 19 year old boy is the author of this blog.

Having seen many songs on TV, since my childhood, which were shot at Vaishno Devi, I was quite excited about the 12 kilometre uphill walk and entering the shrine after crawling through a cave. The cave has been closed in recent years due to the huge number of footfalls and visiting the place after almost 6 hours of uphill walk drained all energy out from me and I wasn’t in the mood of protesting to open the cave for me. Saying this sounds stupid and idiotic, isn’t it? Amd by any chance do you have any idea why “let’s rock” followed my thought process every time I said “Jai Mata Di”? :P

Two nights back I was sitting in the New Delhi- Jammu Tawi Rajdhani Express and had loads of pending college work to complete. I needed my laptop, internet connection and a power backup for its successful completion. All was well until the moment I discovered that the plug points in the whole coach were not functioning and that left me with 21 minutes of laptop usage. I wrapped up the half-completed works (all related to the broadsheet I am doing as a college assignment) and prepared to mail it to my designer friend. As soon as I got the zip file attached to the email and clicked the send button, the mail got sent and my laptop got shut down. Was a wonderfully awesome timing, seriously! :D

Right now I am sitting on Upper Berth, seat number 27, Coach B5, Jammu-New Delhi Rajdhani Express and my laptop says the time is 10.50 PM and I feel I should sleep now. Now I realize- probably I wrote this entry just to feel the thrill of writing a blog inside a train and my readers have probably guessed by now that this was a pathetically boring entry (Although this implies that they read it till the last line!) :D

Bon Voyage!
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