Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Letter to all my friends at MBICEM

A few confessions as we bid adieu to our three years of togetherness...

Hello doston,

The urge to write a lot but having no words to start with- that’s the precise thing happening to me right now. It’s almost 3 AM and I am having a completely sleepless night. No, this time it has got nothing to do with any ‘work’ I am doing. I am done with all work. For three years, that’s solely what I have been doing and I think I have had enough of that. Right now, even the utterance of the word ‘work’ seems to irritate me to the core. So why this sleepless night? Well, with college life at the verge of approaching the doomsday, I think I might not be the only one facing this trouble right now.

27.08.2010: The first ever photo that I clicked at MBICEM
We had an amazing ‘Retro-themed’ farewell at college last week. On returning home as I opened my facebook account, I had an unread message from a junior:

“Antarik! I m waiting fo ur blog abt today.... hw u felt... plssss

I knew I was going to right about it. Sooner or later. Non-completion of my final project film was what got me delayed. I kept telling everyone, the very fact that college is over has not sunk in yet! When it does, you can expect an array of blog entries from me!


Well, after the ‘unofficial’ farewell over the weekend, when all ‘work’ was over, and we all had enough time to sit and reflect upon how times have passed and how it is going to be in the coming days, that was when the feeling started to sink in. The days now get wholly spent with friends. It is the night times, like the one right now, when each one of us is at our own places, stuck to the computer system, and probably doing nothing but going through old photo albums, chatting on whatsapp, and listening to that one particular song that has innumerable memories attached to it, this is the bad time. When I was at the DPS Hostel 3 years back, the goodbye time was daunting but it never made as much of an impact as it making now. This was probably because at that time, we 6 friends, we were together 24x7 and it was just the last and final goodbye from the hostel that had been the ship-wreck point. Right now, considering that this is no hostel and each one has a separate life to lead, with no common threads attached, saying goodbye at the end of each day to your best friends, people who have known you so well and perhaps much better than anyone else, feels pathetic. Each day seems like a big separation. It was amidst all this that I realized that writing this letter was important before I left college.

27.08.2010: First visit to the NDTV Studios, GK

07.05.2010: Post-Teachers' Day Celebration. First time at Select Citywalk

03.11.2010: Canteen
It might be surprising for you if you don’t know me well (and that’s likely the case, because there are very few people who fall into the ‘know-me-well’ category), but I am one person who loves to have fun. To let go of all concern and just pass some time with people who matter to him. To create and be part of memories. That’s one side of me which probably you don’t know. I don’t expect you to either. Because it’s been 3 years and probably the only thing you have seen me doing is ‘work’.

Yes, I am proud of having ‘worked’ so much. Yes, I was tired, exhausted, but I can’t deny that each new endeavor was a bigger challenge than the previous one and a huge learning platform.

You know what guys, when I joined college, I had no clue what it was going to be like. I was super nervous. I didn’t know how it would be to interact with so many new people. I had my preconceptions. I had my fears. Having left hostel life just a few months back, for me getting involved with a completely new set of people, was never going to be easy. I tried to be friendly with all. I tried to get involved in as many things as I possibly could. I never wanted to prove anything to anyone. I just went with the flow.

04.11.2011: Pre-Diwali Day

11.11.2010
Right from the time of joining college, I have been with very varied sets of friends. From having a ‘PG group’ to having a ‘Work group’, from working with the ‘Cyber Club’ to writing content for ‘MagzL’, from making the 20-day record of ‘Jhankaar’ to re-establishing the ‘Film Club’, from switching on the TV sets of college to organizing First Frame 2013, from spending hours in the canteen after classes in the 1st year to having no time to even visit the canteen for a glass of juice by the end of 3rd year, from worrying and spending time doing assignments to prioritizing fun and leaving the assignments for the extreme last minute- it has all been amazingly fun to work with and know so many different people. Yeah, probably I never looked like the one who was interested in you for anything apart from work. Probably I even rejected an offer by you that would have given us a chance to know each other better. Probably I would never come to you and start a talk. I might expect you to do that. Probably I would want to be good friends with you. Would want to know you better. Would like to spend time having fun together.

I was always an introvert. Going to the fresher’s party (and believing that I would be ragged) was damn horrifying for me and I absolutely avoided it. Over the coming months and years, there were only two ways that I got associated with more and more people- Either I was approached to talk by you or some third person and/or I got involved with you due to some work that we were assigned to do together. Believe me, even today I can’t approach somebody just for the sake of an interaction or to strike off a conversation. I am really lucky that you came forward and we struck a chord somewhere.
22.12.2010: The Lands2Land Team

23.11.2011: At the IITF

21.04.2011: Photography at Delhi Zoo
You know, being called a ‘topper’ or the ‘padhakoo’ student or being asked ‘Tujhe to sab kuch aata hoga na?’- that’s super irritating. I hate it. Especially because I am one person who is completely unlikely what these terms mean. Those who know me well will second me when I say that I hate studying and I study simply at times when I have to probably because there is an exam in a few hours! I never was the super intelligent bright student, nor did I ever want to be. It was simply an accident and a game of luck…pure luck that got me that damn 23rd rank and those first two semesters of being the class topper!

01.12.2011: The Verity Team

01.12.2011: The Verity Team

01.12.2011: The Verity Team

19.02.2012: Jhankaar 2012 in the making

27.02.2012: Post-Jhankaar release, Annual Day 2012

24.04.2012: Bidding adieu to the seniors
They say- it doesn’t matter who comes and goes in your life…what matters is the way they made you feel and the impact they had on you. I am not one who could proudly say that he/she is the one everyone wants not-to-forget. I am not one who would remain in everyone’s memories for the times to come. I probably would be remembered for all the things I am not, but have been portrayed that way, and I have bothered the least to rectify that. I probably am not one who would figure in everyone’s photo albums, because I never cared to get that particular photo clicked, but yes, what I did care was to carry my camera with me all the time and when people were busy creating memories, I was busy capturing those memories on camera…because that’s what has always mattered to me more. (Of course having almost 200 GB of photographs simply of/for/with people of this college clicked over 3 years isn’t an easy feat to accomplish.)

I have no problem when you imitate me. No I don’t get offended. That’s the reality, isn’t it? I am ok with it. Let’s have fun! Yeah, Antarik Anwesan would like to have fun too!

25.04.2012: New Media ki website bann gayi?

26.12.2012: Post-exams Semester 5, KFC, Dwarka

26.01.2013: Hockey Premier League at Major Dhyanchand Stadium

03.04.2013: Post event celebration, First Frame 2013, Sri Ram Centre for Art & Culture, Mandi House

05.04.2013: Yummy! M.o.D, Select Citywalk

14.04.2013: The unplanned Brindavan excursion
It’s been almost three days since I started writing this, but considering the intensity of the subject and trying to decide how to put thoughts-to-words, has taken a lot of time. I have no clue why I chose to write all that I have written. I don’t know why I chose to actually make these ‘confessions’ to you just when we are about to separate. Probably these are things that haunt me…worry me…things, perceptions that I know are not right but I have never been able to set them right…probably this is an attempt to tell you what you really mean to me, or more likely, how I want you to know me. I don’t know.

When people tell me that they love reading my blog and follow it regularly, it feels great. When a friend told me recently that he took my blog as a ‘guide’ and ‘inspiration’ so as to start his own new blog, I felt proud. Yes, it has mattered to me a lot- who comes to my blog and reads it. What matters more is- did the person come back later because he/she liked what he/she read the previous time and thought it was worthwhile to pay an ‘uninvited’ visit to the blog? The person perhaps was bored by reading my blog post but came back later just because he/she considered it important because of the relation/connection we share?

13.05.2013: The Bowling Scorecard, EOD, Noida. Ummm...'A'?

13.05.2013: At EOD, Noida

03.04.2013: My best buddies
I know that not many would bother to open this ‘yet another blog post by Antarik’ link when they find this on their facebook newsfeed. Some would do. But most of them wouldn’t stick till the end. I thank you for reading this entire self-blabber, the entire over 1800 word piece. You kept on going probably because this relation that we share is important to you or perhaps the word ‘confessions’ kept your attention.

When recently a friend was asked, “What is the worst thing about MBICEM?” He said, “It’s small.” “And what is the best thing about MBICEM?” He replied, “It’s small.” That was the best answer that I had ever heard to these questions. I loved it. Don’t you think that the very fact that we studied in this ‘ghar-jaisa-dikhne-wala’ and ‘blink-and-you-miss-it campus’, running from the basement to the canteen, was the thing that kept us connected together all the time? At least I feel so. I am going to miss this place. I am going to miss working here, having fun here. I am going to miss the people I met here. I am going to miss you…

As we step into a new world, I wish you all the luck,
This is not the blogger or topper or padhakoo or Commando (:p)
This is just a good friend signing off now.

Yeah…this is how I would like you to remember me…

26 comments :

  1. Well I read it completely ;-) and yeah I'm surely going to miss you and the time spent with you! You are the best person I know! Will miss you brother .... :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kshitiz! Sometimes we don't get what we want at the times and the circumstances we want them. It's good to take life the way it comes to you instead of trying to mould things your way.
      It was good to know you Kshitiz. Tc.

      Delete
  2. I made it pretty evident to all on d unofficial farewell wat impact these 3 yrs hv had on me.. I am emotionall...

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    Replies
    1. Evidently...yes...true...you made it pretty clear Sakshi! :D
      "Crying like a baby"..hehehe...
      Thanks for the read and the comment :)

      Delete
  3. Best "This is not the blogger or topper or padhakoo or Commando (:p)
    This is just a good friend signing off now."
    will miss MBICEM
    Most days of these three years are unremarkable. They begin and they end with no lasting memory made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life.

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    Replies
    1. It was good to know you Khyati..right from the first NDTV visit to the Maoists/Naxalists presentation to the tuition calls and everything after that...
      Thank you :)

      Delete
  4. Sir no reply stands as strong as this post
    will not miss ypu for sure because thats my promise that will stay in touch wid you ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ye baat to pakki hai...we will stay in touch...n anyways, aur koi link ho na ho, 'Bedi' link to rahega hi :D
      And Starbucks bhi chalna hai...Javachip ke liye :D

      Delete
  5. wow.....
    All the best to you too in life... Cheers! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Tanvi. Glad to have you as a 'dont-have-to-invite-each-time' reader to my blog. Hehehe...
      Tc and Enjoy! :)

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  6. Antarik, NEVER stop writing. :)

    Will miss MBICEM too. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Megha, I WON'T stop writing. :)

      Will miss YOU too.

      Take care and all the best! :)

      Delete
  7. yes i remember that moment -
    “What is the worst thing about MBICEM?” He said, “It’s small.”
    “And what is the best thing about MBICEM?” He replied, “It’s small.”..

    that was the smartest and the best answer... :D :D :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course! And the one who gave it, shouldn't be forgotten...:D

      You still have a year to go at MBICEM Roshan...make the best use of the time. And hann, First Frame 2014 karwana hai..I am waiting for the invite :)

      All the best dude!

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  8. Replies
    1. Thank you so much Deepak!

      And thanks a lot for the read and the comment. And dekho, blog likh diya farewell ke liye :D

      Delete
  9. u knw tht wht bond we share togethr and whn evn i came to clg i came with this thing tht "no gfs nd no bestfriends" frm this clg!bt at d end of the journey i gt my besty!i nt goonaa miss u bcz tu saath rehne wala hai humeshaa!nd u only changed ur words tht "ankit ll be in touch now"!i mm goonnaa miss the time v had in d clg and our grp!
    lov u man <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kitna wait karwaya hai tune is comment ka Ankit...! :D
      Last night when you asked me, "How would things have been had we been good friends starting right in the first semester and not at the end of the fifth?" I kept on thinking about it...And somewhere I believe that it was good that we didn't meet then. Certain things tend to happen in the best way when they are meant to happen. And I wouldn't want to change this...

      It isn't the people you want to be with who actually stay with you, it is the ones who choose you to be with them and accept you for what you are, who truly believe in you and are there for you no matter what.

      In fact, you gave a very solid answer to your own question which I loved- "This is the end of college, but the beginning of a strong relation between us". And I totally second this and believe in this.

      Yes, college time, the time we all spent together, I am going to miss it so much. More than that, I am going to miss the very few people who I could make an impact on and without whom, life at MBICEM would never have been the same.

      Thanks for being there Ankit. Love you yaar! :)

      Delete
  10. Probably I am not the right person to comment here. But after reading this open letter I could not hold myself back.Life goes on. People meet, know each other, spend some time together and then depart. Because life paves different paths for different individuals. What stays with us is the memory those shared moments create for us.But the memory of the sophomore days are the most intense ones which are never forgotten. Ask your College Authorities and Alumni Association to arrange for a get together for each passed out batch after 20/25 years. All the students should come to that get together along with their family and share their experiences of 25 years. I tell you, you people will reinvent your college days in a novel way after such a gap. I experienced it in 2009 Dec in our silver jubilee celebration of 1984 pass-out batch at NIT Rourkela which you had missed.
    Have fun and go ahead. Friends may come Friends may go But Life goes on for .......

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    1. I agree...it is just this time of departure which is not so easy to handle or accept..
      Life goes on..yes, and it will go on..no matter what...
      :)

      Delete
  11. Sir in 2 salon me aap who sikha gaye Jo shayad mai zindagi bhar nahi seekh pata... or umeed krta hu ki bhawishya me bhi a apse bahut kuch seekhne ko milega.
    .. thank u so much bhai or shubhkaamnayein bhawishya k liye
    ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patanai yaar..aisa kya sikhaya maine? :D
      I am glad :)
      Thanks and all the best to you too Sushant. Don't let your dedication and hardwork ever go in vain. You are an amazing worker and friend. Keep marching ahead! All the best :)

      Delete
  12. U know vat em going to miss you probably u vl nt blv vat i hv just wrote bt yes em going to miss you mate :)
    Cheers to d ltd. Bt gud tym spent 2gthr :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to hear that. And glad to see you reading my blog posts. Thank you Sakshi :)

      Delete

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